What’s the difference between eloping and having a wedding? Is one better than the other?

Whether you’ve just started exploring the idea of an adventurous elopement and doing something different or have been throwing tradition to the wind you’re whole life and dreaming up the adventure of a lifetime with your love forever, you’ve probably come to the realization that elopements and traditional weddings are different —but how?

My definition of elopements is intentionally small, intimate, and true to you wedding experiences that meaningfully reflect who you are and showcase your relationship authentically.  

Where the focus of an elopement day is on the two of you, larger weddings typically tend to be more structured and to be about the event itself, entertainment for guests, and following specific traditions. 

It’s the intentionality, space for connection, and ability to ask yourself: what do you want your day to feel like? — and do just that,  that truly differentiates an elopement from a wedding.

Ultimately there is no better or worse with elopements and weddings.  Above all, your day should be everything you want it to be.  If a big, traditional wedding is authentic to you and makes you the happiest, you should absolutely go for it and have a rockin’ party.

On the other hand, if throwing tradition to the wind and running barefoot toward an adventurous, non-traditional elopement or intimate wedding sounds more your speed — I’m here to help guide you through your totally unique true-to-you wedding experience and document the story of your relationship along the way.

The 3 main differences — Eloping vs Wedding

These are the 3 key categories I think really explain the difference between eloping and having a wedding.

1. Authenticity + Choice

Elopements give couples the chance to be truly authentic to their relationship.  For many couples, a large, traditional wedding is authentic for them, but for just as many it’s not. Having an elopement or intimate wedding strips everything away that won’t matter down the line and instead, immerses you in each other, the feeling and meaning of your day, what matters, and what you’ve always envisioned. The day you commit your love to your life partner should consist of intentional details and choices that truly matter to you. All those little moments become part of your story.

With elopements you get to craft a day authentic to the two of you — all the rules, expectations and obligations are gone and you’re left with so many choices.  With elopements, the possibilities are endless and not limited to traditional venues.  You can sleep under the stars, explore waterfalls, or hike to an alpine lake.  When you’re not worrying about accommodating a large group of people or traditions, you get to decide what speaks to you.

2. People

You’ve probably seen both “adventure elopements” and “intimate weddings” throughout my site and for me, these are really one and the same and I use them interchangeably. They are both significantly different from larger, more traditional weddings, especially regarding the people.  Elopements today aren’t some secret affair where no family can be invited or told. People are an important difference, but not nobody can be there, though, by nature, an elopement is likely going to have fewer people involved, so, that is partly the point.  The difference is an elopement gives a couple the freedom to just have exactly who they want there on their day.  For some couples, this means having just the two of you on your day and for others that means having a small group of closest family and friends.

Why does the number matter?  Intentionality.  

With an elopement or intimate wedding, you’re only inviting people you want to share in the meaningful time on your day.   With traditional weddings, there are often feelings of obligation to extend the guest list beyond intentionality and often to a point where you’re drowning in a guest list of 300+ people.  

Elopements are all about getting rid of the expectations, obligations and pressure of the invite list to only have the people you want to intentionally spend time with on your special day.

3.Experience

Tons of eloping couples are people who value experiences above all.  The big party and entertainment aren’t as important to them.  For eloping couples, investing into their experiences, adventures of a lifetime, being able to hold space for an intimate experience and connection.  Choosing to elope means investing in your experience as a couple above all and the memories of a day that speaks to the story of you and your relationship.

When it comes to your elopement or wedding day, the most important thing to remember: it’s all about you and your partner, and celebrating your incredible journey together. Whether you dream of a grand ceremony or an intimate elopement, your day should be one that captures your unique love story and is intentionally reflective of the two of you as a couple.

In the end, what matters is to have a day (or two!) that you can look back on and remember loving every second of.